Have you ever felt a sense of pride about something you have achieved, something worthy of being noticed and appreciated, or something you feel has the potential to grow and evolve?
If you’ve ever felt that incredible rush of possibility and passion, then you know how devastating it can be to get hit by a wave of negativity that knocks you flat and steals your moment of joy.
What’s worse is when that negativity comes in the form of someone near you who seems to make it their sole purpose in life to slow you down or discredit what you have done for no given reason.
Personally, I have experienced these types of personalities at different stages of my career — and from various different personalities. Being the generally positive person that I am, I’ve always wondered what the motive was behind someone’s unwillingness to share a piece of success with you. What could possibly be the reason that a fellow human would refuse to pat you on the back in your moment of triumph — especially when it would only make the two of you richer, kinder, and better?
Throughout my career, I’ve found that people generally fall into three categories. The first category is what I call “neutral people.” These individuals could not care less what you do, and rarely get hyped up or stressed about your actions. Honestly, this is a totally normal and acceptable thing (even if they aren’t the most inspiring to be around.)
The second category is those who push you to grow and succeed through encouragement and collaboration. They love to celebrate your success and achievements and make those special moments in your life more rewarding and joyful.
The third category? This toxic minority is what I refer to as “Haters.” They are a select few who choose to watch your every move and try to take you down before you can reach your goals. Driven by some strange desire to see the world burn, they fight tooth and nail to stop you — even though they have no involvement in what you are accomplishing.
Sounds terrible right? Sadly, this third group is a bit like a hidden virus, infecting nearly all aspects of your life — social media, school, work, family, and more.
So who are those personalities who make up the third group? Let’s break down the third type, and how you can use your understanding of why they are the way they are to push forward and succeed.
The 6 Strains Of Hater DNA
I thought it would be fun to do a break-down of the six traits of “The Hater’s DNA” based on my experiences of dealing with harsh, unforgiving personalities.
My hope is that by learning how to recognize these types of “Haters”, you can get a sense of what the driving force behind the hate and jealousy was and potentially turn it into a force for good.
1. The Ego Monster
The Ego Monster’s hate is typically fueled by a dangerously high level of ego and arrogance in which they surround themselves.
How can you spot an Ego Monster? Egocentric personalities never listen, and even if they do, they will quickly drive the conversation back to their personal opinions and twist the conversation to prove that only what they think is right and of any value.
When you are near an Ego Monster, there is nothing you can do (even if the rest of the world celebrates your idea) that they will like Why? Because it doesn’t align with what they think, like, or want. If they feel threatened, they will try to crush your idea to dust to prove to themselves and those around them how right they are — and ultimately discredit you of any value.
2. The Narcissist
This Narcissist group believes that the whole world revolves around them. (In fact, they won’t be happy that they are second on this list.) Whatever you do, say, act or perform, the Narcissist will find a way to link the entire situation back to them and assess things in a way that shines the light in their direction.
Now, how does this drive hate or jealousy? Well, when all you can care about is yourself and are unable to see outside the orbit of “I, Me, and Myself,” that selfishness will fuel a lot of negative thoughts in you.
I find that Narcissists are always looking for that great sense of importance and achievement. Therefore, every time somebody else achieves something that steals that potential importance, they feel as though a piece of them has been taken away. Their importance has been stolen, and someone has snatched up their chance of succeeding. What they fail to see is that success can be for all. Moments of fame and achievement don’t have to belong to one person or group.
3. The Procrastinator
I suspect that the Procrastinator is probably the group behind most of the angry, hate-filled messages you find on social platforms. Procrastinators are those people hiding behind their keyboards, making big statements that aren’t nice, constructive, or meaningful in any way.
What I see being the driving force for this group is their inability to put down any effort or time to achieve something unique. They find reasons to avoid growing or succeed.
Now, The Procrastinator may have once had dreams which they have now put on pause, or let drift away from their grasp due to their constant procrastination. This drives a sense of not wanting anybody else to succeed because it could potentially reveal their shortcomings and unwillingness to do something constructive and beneficial in life. It’s just too much effort!
4. The Hypocrite
The Hypocrites are people who subtly project hate. They are sneaky, as they will be all smiles and giggles with you at first. But behind your back, they quickly turn into a two-faced monster.
The Hypocrite will do everything they can to speak ill or gossip about you and your ideas. They thrive on trying to take you down in the eyes of everybody else.
From my personal experience, the Hypocrite can be found heavily in the corporate world. Their competition-turned-jealous rage drives work politics, and they will step on each other to get up the corporate hierarchy ladder as fast as they can. I have seen people across the hierarchy level gossip and trash their managers and colleagues all the time — yet show a different face in person.
5. The Copycat
A big part of what we do in on our road to success should be about giving back. Being a source of inspiration to others and discover that people mimic and copy what you do must be flattering, and surely indicates that you are succeeding at something.
However, there will always be a few that take copying to the next level. The Copycat will closely watch your every move, looking for ways to improve, grow, succeed on your original idea. Sounds great, right? Unfortunately, when the Copycat reaches the top, they then try to push you down. Their mindset becomes to “be you and beat you”. The Copycat takes the process of acquiring a new skill and allows it to become untethered arrogance — losing humility along the way.
6. The Racist
The driving force behind the Racist is deep-seated racism and ignorance. The Racist chooses to discriminate against or dislike any successes by someone that doesn’t look or talk like them. They are professionals at judging and labeling people based on preconceived stereotypes.
The Racists will only celebrate and acknowledge great things that happen within their close network of friends and buddies, or with those with whom they share something in common. They would present your trash as gold and always be upbeat about what their kind has achieved.
It wouldn’t matter if two people came up with the same ideas and work. The Racist will totally discredit one while placing the other on a pedestal. Yet, the day that the relationship ends, the good compliments and acknowledgments dissipate like vapor.
Recoding The Hater DNA
Knowing how to identify the six strains of Hater DNA is only half the battle. The key is to know how to navigate these individuals because they are going to be part of your life and career.
Breaking things down and understanding the driving force behind someone’s intentions can hep to “recode” the Hater DNA. Rather than respond alike to a Hater’s actions, knowing what drives their actions eases the process of dealing with any of the six types. It diffuses a lot of situations, giving you an upper hand to deal with them in the right way — often without them even knowing it.
One thing to remember the next time you have to deal with a Hater who shows signs of jealousy or hate towards you is this: it’s much better for them to be busy looking at your success, rather than you wasting your time looking at theirs. Giving them a foothold in your mind and heart is a fuel that allows negative energy driven by jealousy to grow inside of you.
No matter how successful you become, one thing never goes away: Hater DNA. The negativity will always exist while you succeed. The difference is in how you respond. Remember that theri opinions ultimately don’t matter — not even one bit — and all their nonsense is nothing but, well, nonsense!
Let the knowledge that you are more powerful than Hater DNA be that which fuels you and keeps you on track to accomplish your goals and dreams. The more you grow and succeed, the more Haters will clinch on you to try to pull you down.
I heard a great line from Jeff Bezos, Founder & CEO of Amazon, that lays out this concept nicely:
“The only effective defense is to develop a thick skin, if you are doing anything interesting in the world you’re going to have critics, and if you absolutely can’t handle them then don’t do anything new or interesting.”
Being thick skin is important, but don’t let your thick skin keep you from being the positive, happy, and motivated DNA that the world needs. It is only when you exhibit that positive DNA that you will grow and enjoy the process of innovation. Never allow anyone to take that away from you because of how they behave.
Take hope. While this article has focused on the negatives of “The Haters DNA,” I have found that the overwhelming majority of people are positive, kind, and nice. Take the steps today to surround yourself with the right people to bring yourself more positive vibes. Your dreams and your potential to create world-changing innovations will thank you!
What other kinds of haters have you come across?
